Mar 19

I love pistachios.

This is a fairly new realization. I don’t remember having these green gems as a kid, and if given the choice I’d still choose chocolate ice cream over pistachio. But the nutty goodness of these green legumes are, at times, overwhelming.

Just today while having lunch with my dear Bonez, I mentioned that I’ve missed snacking on pistachios these last few days. (We had recently finished the last of a 4 lb. bag of nuts from Sam’s Club.) They’re much tastier than the traditional salty snack choices, like chips or munchies ending in “-itos.” And they do have health benefits. (Perhaps not in the quantity that I maw down on them.)

Somehow, we started discussing the idea of eating your (my) weight in pistachios. To me, this sounded like a great and rewarding challenge! Would the amount be based on your starting weight, or would it increase much like my thighs, hips and ass? Is there a time limit, or could this be a lifetime achievement sort-of thing?

I will admit that even after filling up on my delish’ lunch, the idea of this many pistachio nuts just for me seemed tempting and possible. My mouth just might have been watering… a little.

Then we started discussing the immense quantities of nuts needed to reach this mighty goal. In case you’ve never seen it, even 4 lbs of pistachio nuts is quite a lot. We could store them in a rented garage, but the birds and squirrels (and people – hey, what are u looking at?!) may be a liability. Just then we passed a lovely, older VW Bug in, what looked like, mint condition and we were temporarily freed from our nut trance. But not for long.

Immediately, the conversation took an odd turn (yeah, it wasn’t so odd up till now, right?). Matty thinks that this quantity of pistachio nuts, in the shell, would fit into the VW Bug (including the trunk). I disagreed, but admitted that I was very entertained by this thought. We could use a new Beetle for the discarded shells. How exciting! This, of course, kept us laughing the rest of the way home and then some.

Okay. That’s the end of the story. Thanks for listening. Now go home.

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