Jun 4

I wish I could quit you

Posted by Matty

I don’t really talk about real life on the blog much, but sometimes the stories are just too good to pass up.

This might be a little rant-like. I have some purging to do.


ntil very recently, I worked for a small consulting company as a tech writer/editor/designer/web guy/etc. I wasn’t very satisfied with my job for all of the usual reasons (and some unique ones), and started lookin’ for something different.

I interviewed with a couple firms, and accepted an attractive offer. I thought that the hard part was finding a new job. Little did I know that the worst was yet to come!

So, a week ago Friday, I called my boss. I had joyous news to share. He works remotely and I never see him, so it’s usually tricky to communicate with him. It takes him several days to return a phone call or email. He must be very busy and important. (My theory is that he’s got another job. No one can be that inefficient.) Anyhow, I get his voicemail, and leave an urgent message to please call me as soon as possible. It’s like breaking up. I’m not such a bastard that I’m gonna leave that on the machine.

I wait 90 minutes. No call back. Time to escalate. I call the COO. (Did I mention that it’s a small company?) COO tells me that he can’t accept my resignation, and I should call the CTO! I call the CTO, and explain I’m resigning. He explains that he’s at lunch, and I should send him an email.

By now, you may start to understand why I’m leaving this firm.

In the email, I offer two choices. In retrospect, that was a mistake. Option 1, I leave in one week (June 1). Option 2, I leave in two weeks (June 8) and receive all my accrued vacation time. In Texas, there are no laws surrounding vacation time on termination. Many companies will provide this as a courtesy, but my company isn’t very courteous.

The CTO replies to my email. You know, the email he asked me to send? As head of the company, he states that he cannot accept my resignation. My direct manager is responsible for that.

After three working days(!!?), I get an email back from my manager, followed by a phone call. He has woken from his remote slumber! He accepts my resignation. Hooray! We discuss the options. I explain that if option 2 is chosen, I would need it in writing and signed by a company officer.

This might seem like a paranoid, tin-foil request, but this is based on experience. Promises don’t mean anything unless you get them in writing. It’s also important to get it signed by someone who is authorized to make said promise.

There are two the options on the table. Though my boss is responsible for accepting my resignation, he doesn’t have the authority to make the decision. The next day (lightning speed), I hear back. They have decided on the deluxe option #2. I remind him that I will need it in writing and signed. He agrees.

On June 1, my boss is in the office! What a surprise. Certainly things will move quickly! We discuss again. He’s still interested in option #2. I mention the signed letter. No problem.

That afternoon, I catch my boss as he is skulking out to the airport to go back to his secret remote lair, I ask one final time for my letter. He admits that he doesn’t have one, but he will get next week. I shake my head, and hand him my resignation letter. I explain he didn’t keep his end of the bargain, explain that I will be leaving today, and wish him luck.

He seems surprised by this turn of events. I remind him of the agreement. He tries to cleverly renegotiate. “Can I sign the letter?” I have to explain that he’s not a company officer and doesn’t actually have the authority to promise such things. I walk out the door.

On my way home, I consider that my boss isn’t the best communicator. I want to make sure that everyone is clear on the fact that I’m gone. So, I follow up with an email to all concerned parties. The email states that I have indeed resigned since the conditions of the agreement were not met. I am done. I have turned in my computer and keys. Good luck. etc. Pretty frickin’ absolute.

The weekend is nice. The sun is a little bit brighter, my Scotch tastes a little bit smokier, my sleep is a little bit sleepier. You get the idea.

This morning, my phone starts ringing. As any respectable person would do, I screen my calls. I check my email. Emails start to pile up, from the manager, from the CTO, and from random other employees acting on behalf of the CTO.

They have written my agreement letter, the emails state. Will I be into work today or tomorrow?

They attach the letter. It’s not actually a letter. It’s a printout of my original email, with option #2 highlighted. I sigh. My trite resignation doesn’t even rate a secretary writing a paragraph or two for the CTO to sign in this 20 19 person company. At every turn, I feel like I’ve made the right decision.

Tonight I’ve sent yet another email to the group. In it, I explain in mono-syllabic words that “Me Not Go There No More.” (Okay, maybe it wasn’t so “Clan of the Cave Bear”, but it was pretty close.)

I feel like I’m stuck in a cross between a Twighlight Zone episode and A Kids in the Hall sketch. How many times will I have to resign before it sticks??

I would never talk trash about a company that I work for. Now that I’m done with this company, I probably have a few more stories to tell. Hmmm…

End rant and back to my vacation.

12 Responses to “I wish I could quit you”

  1. P-la Says:

    It’s simply because you are so f’n awesome, they don’t want you to go. I can’t say I blame them! I wouldn’t want you to quit me either

  2. Botgurl Says:

    Congratulations on your new gig. I am so glad you are out of the old place they are crazy!

  3. chris Says:

    Oh. My. GOD! That’s just craziness . . . no wonder you are leaving, with all that non-communication and disorganization (among other things)! Grrrrr!

    Well, at least you are done with them. DONE! 🙂

  4. Nanc Says:

    Who knows what communication joys today will bring, eh?

    My Matty… in big demand!

  5. kelp! Says:

    Whoa, that’s like a bad seinfeld epsiode!

  6. Kathy Says:

    Knowing how inefficient this company is run, why didn’t you supply the letter yourself? It could have gotten signed a lot faster that way.

    It’s not your fault they’re in the lurch and need you back for another week. Poo on them, and congrats on getting out of Dodge. 🙂

  7. Jen da purse ho Says:

    Good riddance!!! i’m glad u are out of there! Heehhee let them suffer. they wait days before realizing you arent bluffing. Morons. 🙂 congrats on the new gig.

  8. Cats Says:

    T’is better to have loved and left than never to have left at all. Altho I miss u terribly, I am SO happy you’ve moved on.

    Now quit reading this crap and get back to reading Bugliosi AND writing aventures in autoworld.

  9. mk Says:

    Matt – I am a knitting friend of Nancy’s. I live in Denton.

    Anyway, good riddance to those freakazoids. You are lucky to be rid of that nonsence!

    Congrats on the new job. I hope they treat you much better.

  10. Angi Says:

    I feel for you. I hope you enjoy the new job. Wave as you drive by!

  11. Betty Says:

    It’s a Dilbert world, and we all live in it (some more than others).

    How long of a break do you have before you have to start the new job?

    Hi NanC!


  12. Pam in Colorado Says:

    I just happened upon your blog tonight. This resignation story is hilarious, although it probably didn’t seem so funny at the time.

    Hope your new job is going great.

    I actually found you looking for sewing tables… yours is amazing!
    Do you know if there are any building plans anywhere out there for it?