Um, this is really for the girls. So boys, you'll want to move on. Really. Just go. You won't even want to know what it's about because it's THAT kind of topic.

Okay, now that it's just us girls I've got a confession to make. I'm not very good at being a girl. I mean, I've got the right parts and such, but I'm not frilly or fro-fro-y or girly. I wouldn't even let my Mom put me in dresses as a child without great protest. (As the youngest and only girl of five kids, this was surely a cruel joke someone played on my Mom. And yes, I do expect to pay for this when we eventually have children.)

But it's more than the tom-boy stuff. I can't keep track of... you know, um... THAT time of the month. I know approximately when it'll happen, but I don't have the date, place, and time down to an exact science like most chicks. And I don't get much warning either. (Yes, I know that I should be grateful for this and I am, but I pay in other ways I promise.)

And one more thing: I don't have brand loyalty or a favorite product. Heck, I can' t seem to remember which variation I used an hour ago, let alone a whole 28-ish days. So when "Aunt Flo" (does anyone really use this term?) snuck up on me yesterday, I was a bit amiss. Sure I had a couple of things here and there to get me by for a bit, but none of was going to last me long. (It's always like this for the first day or two. Why I only buy enough supplies to get me through a little more than one cycle I'll never know. Even Bonez wonders why I don't buy in bulk, since it's not likely to spoil and I will need them again.)

But that's not the point. The point is that I happened to luck out because a friend left a partial package here from the Slumber Party. I'm sure she won't mind if I use 'em. (At that point, wouldn't you rather be reimbursed monetarily instead of a return?) This product, although not new to me, had exciting new features. What could be new or exciting about a product women have been using for untold number of years? Quite a few things, thank you. Some are pretty nifty; others not so much. The following is my list of pros and cons:

BTW - This is about pads if it's not obvious from the content below.

• Pro - 'Quiet, cloth like pouch for discretion.' Yes, indeed these were quiet and cloth like. Now no one will know what I'm up to when I go to the restroom - except for other indicators like me carrying a purse five days out of the month, or the metal clank of those wall-mounted feminine product cans. Or because of this next item...
• Con - Paper adhesive strip cover. The loud noise created when this wax paper-like piece is ripped from the pad will make you cringe after the quiet comfort of the pouch. Oh well for time-of-the-month secrecy. But wait, what's that on the paper slip...
• Undecided - Tips for Life Great little tidbits of knowledge, like 'Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches', printed in three languages right on that noisy paper. Sure these 'Tips for Life' (as they're grandly toted) are fairly commonplace, but it's the idea of learning sage advice in a foreign language that tickles my fancy. Think of the possibilities - they could market a while new language learning method. "Learn ten new phrases every month while you're angry and bloated! You're not going out anyways, are you?" Perhaps the complexity of the phrases would be parallel to the size/strength of the pad? Although honestly I'd rather like a fun and flirty comic strip, a lá Bazooka Joe.
• Con - Velcro USA Inc. strips. Although these seem to be a better concept than the plain adhesive tape that may wear out your panties before you do, they were a bit on the complex side. The Velcro pieces are a lot smaller than the tape and you have to be more exact on their placement. ('Cause that's how velcro works, ya' see.) And who wants to be fiddling with velcro and your undies at a time like this? (Or any time, really. Unless you're into that kind of thing. Which is okay for you. Not me.) And why, oh why, do they need to be re-adjustable?

So overall it's a toss up. Sure - great new innovation, but really still the same ol' thing. Besides, I won't remember the brand or product by the time I run out and have to buy my own.

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